A post I nicked from Renaultsport forum!!!!

While I was driving down the M4 the other day (going a little faster I should have been), I passed a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.

The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked 'Runway too short?' To which I replied, 'I'm late for work'. To which he asked, 'What do you do?'

'I'm a rectum stretcher' I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. 'A what?! A rectum stretcher'??

'And what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well', I said 'I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until its 6 feet.'

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, 'And just what do you do with a six foot arsehole?' To which I replied 'Well you give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge'.........
Speeding ticket: £105.00 Court costs: £45.00 Look on the coppers face. Priceless.......