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Number 1
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to
her and says:
"Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
forgive me."
She replies: "If your pecker is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room

Number 2
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got
a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back
over and taps his wife again. " You don't have a dentist's appointment
tomorrow too, do you ?

Number 3
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
breakfast table one morning when the wife says:
"Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast
table together."
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as
jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My
nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the
other is in your porridge."
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